Mommy's Boy

My sweet boy, who just learned how to give kisses. And of course never with his mouth closed :)

Asher is going through a phase. That phase is known as, "only mommy will do." He is such a mommy's boy right now and I find it to be both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because I love that he loves me so much. When I get him out of his crib in the morning, he wraps his little arms around me and looks at me like he missed me through the night. Or just at random times, he will need me to pick him up just to cuddle and give kisses. Nighttime is my favorite, when putting him to bed. We sit in the rocking chair for a couple of minutes before I lay him down. And it's the same every night: he wraps his legs around my waist, his arms around my shoulders, and snuggles his little face right in the crease of my neck. I cry as I write this because I know it won't always be like this. He is already growing up so fast and I know that he will soon be the age where he is embarrassed by me, and a hug or a kiss in public will be unheard of. So now I am trying to treasure those sweet and precious moments.
And while I love those moments, I also find them to be difficult at times. Since Asher only seems to want me, I feel burnt out and tired. He whines when I put him down after holding him. He wants only me to feed him his bottle and he constantly needs to be around me. Sunday's are the hardest for me. I would love to sit in the service and listen to the message, child free. But every time I try and leave him in the room that we call a nursery, he lasts maybe 10 minutes and realizes I am not there. So I am called to come get him and I end up staying there with him during the 3 hour service. Some of you may be thinking, 'you only have one child...it can't be that hard.' But at home I had my mom and other family to rely on to watch him when I needed to run an errand or have a mommy break. I do not have that here. I only have Chad, who does help a lot, but he is also super busy with ministry stuff, which I understand. So it's just me. I feel like a bad mother for feeling this way. And I wonder sometimes if I could ever handle having another child. I don't know how some mothers do it with 3 or 4 or more! But I leave that in God's hands. I love my little boy, and he is the light of my life. I thank God everyday for making me Asher's mommy. And I will continually seek guidance and wisdom everyday of his precious life to be the best mommy I can be for him.

What a stud!